Three years ago was when I decided to stop lying to myself.
I would always pride myself to push my limits. To take on any task given to me.
To begin my work day at 3am and end at 8pm.
I was a workaholic.
When I look back, I had been doing this type of schedule for over 20 years. If it wasn’t working my day job then finishing up my degree, it was working my day job then going to my next job, then my side hustle.
Eventually that side hustle became a brick and mortar personal studio after years of planning, dreaming and creating. I made it happen.
I made it work. I had a great system.
Off at 10am from day job then open up my doors at 11am until 8pm at my studio.
Let’s not forget to add some kids and family to the mix.
But I made it work and I thrived on challenge, deadlines and presentation – in everything.
It’s almost embarrassing to admit, but I wasn’t taking care of myself the way I am now.
I didn’t have days off.
I didn’t take vacations. 2018 was our first vacation in over 6 years.
I didn’t do this for some pat on the back or Medal of Honor.
It was just how my brain was wired, and I actually enjoyed it. I thrived on it.
I literally didn’t know how to relax. To just BE.
When I was pregnant with Emma, I kept telling myself that I needed to close my studio. Not because I didn’t like it anymore, but because my heart was tugging on something more.
Time with my family.
Time with myself.
I was overwhelmed after adding a new baby to our daily routine.
I was having anxiety attacks. They were debilitating. Some required emergency medical assistance.
I was still operating on all cylinders but I keep hearing these quiet whispers get louder and louder that something needed to change.
Being so overwhelmed I want to cry, or have moments of break down.
Being so impatient because I knew I needed to get the work done but other things keep piling on.
I was always told that there is no such thing as balance and even got laughed at such an ideal.
I’m not sharing this for any sort of sympathy or affirmation that I’ve done the right thing. I’m sharing for those who may be feeling overwhelmed, stressed or on the brink of a breakdown that there IS such a thing as a balanced life.
A harmonious life.
Three years ago I got real with what I wanted out of life moving forward, dreamed and created it, again.
If any of this resonates with you, I’m happy to chat! Send a DM and let’s have that conversation because you can do it too.
Nourish your purpose now,