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I’ve shared this before but worth sharing this great poem again that captures the change process:
Portia Nelson Chapter 1 I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. Chapter 2 I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend that I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in this same place. But it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out. Chapter 3 I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in. It’s a habit. But my eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately. Chapter 4 I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. Chapter 5 I walk down another street. We all have that one bad habit we KNOW we shouldn’t be doing. Yet, we continue to do it. It’s an unconscious pattern that we have gotten ourselves into. Maybe it’s scrolling on social media for too long Playing a video game on the phone Grabbing that third handful of chips from the cupboard Grabbing that fourth cuppa coffee with loads of sugar and cream Talking to ourselves in a way that’s negative, worrisome, anxious or fearful Making yourself crazy for a week chasing a "100%" performance, then burning out and giving up. Here’s the thing, when it comes to changing a habit, getting in shape, eating better, creating a life you desire….there will always be roads to navigate. The process is never linear. What saddens me is those who have started and stopped so many times they’ve unconsciously conditioned themselves that it really won’t work. They wait for the perfect day. The perfect time. When things settle down, I’ll do it. Or something I heard a lot as a business owner, “I’ll start the program when I lose the weight first.” There is already a wall put up by those limiting beliefs that someone will commit to themselves for the long game. And that’s my message for today. Play the long-game. Keep showing up. Keep trying. Be patient. Progress, not perfection Remember that changing habits can be challenging. Here a 5 tips to help you along:
It’s my goal to help those who want to go from stuck to sustainable, to eliminate their limits, to recommit to themselves, find and nourish their purpose. If you want to chat more about how to get unstuck, clear the overwhelm and on a road to balance and peace, I am here. If you’re interested in coaching, join me for this 4-week journey, Spring into Nutrition Reset. You can find all the details here. The hardest part is taking that first step and I'll be with you every step of the way. Nourish your purpose now, Rebecca
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One of my mantras I like to live by is Keep Climbing, especially when it comes to changing those habits. It’s definitely a challenge but it’s important to think about how open you are right now to changing your mindset, habits, and routines.
There are no right or wrong answers. But it's important to know where you're starting out. How ready are you to change? Are you sick of the status quo? Or are your old routines still working pretty well for you? When you think of being ready for a change do you think “Too soon! Not ready yet!” or “Totally ready! Bring it on!!” How willing are you to change? Are you willing to just go with the flow, willing and open to guidance or do you hate being told what to do? How willing are you to trust the process and let change occur (or purposely challenge some of your existing ways of doing things)? Do you find yourself thinking “No change! I’m digging my heels in!” or “Change me! I’m putty in your hands!” How able are you to change? Sometimes we want and hope for change, but something is holding us back. What’s preventing you from changing right now — a crazy work schedule, having a new baby, an unsupportive environment, getting out of your own head? Do you feel like “Right now, I simply can’t change” or “I have all the tools and support I need?” As you think about and work on changing your habits, see if you can notice and name any resistance that pops up. You might choose to take some time to go to the gym or the health food store. Have you ever had these thoughts? But I’m too busy for that. I don't know how to make a healthy meal. What kinds of foods am I supposed to buy? How much of this am I supposed to eat? This is too complicated. This will never work. I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know my way around the gym. It’s too cold outside! It’s too hot outside! Aha! Resistance! Something is pushing back against your change. Don’t worry about “fixing” resistance. Just recognize it when it occurs. (It might even sneak up on you!) If you’re interested in coaching and want to find out more, I am looking for a handful of ladies to join me to spring into a nutrition reset over the next 4 weeks who want to be consistent with their nutrition, go from stuck to sustainable, and learn/implement mindful, moderate eating for good. I’m looking for those who want to quit starting and stopping programs all the time, and finally hunker down and figure out their forever-healthy approach for good – no more random diets or plans. Do you fit that criteria? If so, my 4-week Spring into Nutrition Reset starts Monday, March 8th. Here are the deets: This course is for those of you who are looking to increase your results by stepping up your nutritional game! The group will meet on Mondays at 4:30pm and each week Rebecca will go over a new lesson. Then the group will discuss our successes and our struggles, and provide support for one another. If you’re unable to make the call live, not to worry, everything will be recorded so you can catch the replay! There will also be a nutrition group members-only in Whatsapp (free download) where you will share recipes and ideas, motivate each other to stay on track, and keep each other accountable! At the end of the 4 weeks, you will have built sustainable habits that will help you maintain a healthier lifestyle and continue on your journey even after the 4-weeks are over! Who this is for?
Price: $147 for the 4-week Spring into Nutrition Reset. Enrollment closes Sunday, March 7th 12:00pm and we begin Monday, March 8th. The hardest part is getting started. I'll be with you every step of the way! Nourish your purpose now, Rebecca In continuation of change I mentioned knowing your WHY.
Knowing yourself. Knowing what YOU need and want in order to get where YOU want to go. With this in mind, think about what experience do you have already? What is already in your “toolbox” to help get you started? Remember we have a tendency to over complicate things therefore, taking inventory of what we already CAN do will help ease into this change. For example: What experience do you have already?
This will help you see what you're working with and determine what else you need and want in order to move forward. Want help becoming the healthiest version of you? Most people know that regular movement, eating well, sleep, and stress management are important for looking and feeling better. Yet they need help applying that knowledge in the context of their busy, sometimes stressful lives. If you’re interested in coaching and want to find out more, I am looking for a handful of ladies to join me to spring into a nutrition reset over the next 4 weeks. As I mentioned last week, March is nutrition awareness month and I’m looking for a small group of women who want to be consistent with their nutrition, go from stuck to sustainable, and learn/implement mindful, moderate eating for good. I’m looking for those who want to quit starting and stopping programs all the time, and finally hunker down and figure out their forever-healthy approach for good – no more random diets or plans. Do you fit that criteria? If so, my 4-week Spring into Nutrition Reset starts Monday, March 8th. You can see all the details right here. I hope to see you for the reset! Let me know if you have any questions! Rebecca I've got one more step for you when trying to make a change or introduce a new habit.
Step #3: Share your pain or discomfort Talking to people about your pain can:
Start with the people you love. While there are no guarantees, most of the time, if you allow yourself to be vulnerable with the people you’re close to, they’ll rally to support you. And that can make all the difference in continuing to make progress. Give yourself permission to take it slow. If it feels a little uncomfortable, you’re on the right track. Remember, we call it difficult-difficult for a reason. But if you’re willing to dig deep, find your why, and uncover the root of your pain, you may discover the purpose and passion you’ve been missing. So move past thinking you “just want to get fit” or “can’t lose weight.” And open yourself to the possibility there’s more to the story. That’s where you’ll find the motivation you really need… for the results you really want. Hope this helps! Nourish your purpose now, Rebecca Step #2: Turn your pain into action.
Do the hard thing. Once you’ve defined your pain, you have a framework to experiment with an exercise Precision Nutrition calls “difficult-easy” and “difficult-difficult.” Difficult-easy describes things you do that are hard, but still within your comfort zone: going to work every day even though you hate your job, for example. Or giving up carbs again even though you love pasta and cookies. Difficult-difficult, however, is the stuff that’s truly challenging—the actions you shy away from because they seem overwhelming or even impossible. This is the place where you grow. Here are some examples:
Ask yourself: What are you afraid of? Difficult-easy tasks tend to annoy us. Like when you say “yes” even though you don’t actually have any room on your plate for another task. Because saying “no” is too scary. The things that scare us are usually the difficult-difficult ones. Difficult-easy stuff grinds you down, but you keep doing it anyway. Take a moment to consider: How’s that working for you? What could you do that’s new, that would force you to grow and put you on a new path? That’s your difficult-difficult. Make one change at a time. Once you’ve identified your difficult-difficult, chip away at it one small piece at a time. It might sound weird, but focusing on less can help you achieve more. Pick one small, new habit. Select one habit that supports progress toward the body and health you want. Make it something simple and reasonable, that you think you can practice every day. Let’s say you want to get fitter, but you’re terrified of the gym because you feel like an outsider. Your difficult-difficult is hitting the gym on a regular basis. Consider starting with a habit that gets you closer to that goal, but doesn’t go all the way. For your first habit, you might choose one of these options:
Practice your habit. Do your new habit every day for at least two weeks. Some days, it’ll feel like a grueling climb up Everest. Other days it may feel like you’re flying. Eventually, there will be more flying days than Everest ones. That’s how you know you’re ready for the next step. Build on your habit. Now maybe you’re ready for four home workouts per week, or two exercises when you go to the gym. Practice this new habit for another two weeks. Keep repeating this cycle. With this practice, your difficult-difficult will become easier. As a result, you’ll get better at facing your pain and fears… and better at changing. Hope this helps! Stay tuned for part three tomorrow! Nourish your purpose now, Rebecca Last week I shared using emotional discomfort for change.
As an example, before Joey and I met, I was in an unhappy relationship. After behaviors of control, possessiveness, made to feel less than and not being good enough, I was full of hurt and anger. I channeled all of that into my workouts. My health and wellness. Mentally and physically. And I ended up being in the best shape of my life. But it was more than navigating that control and possessiveness. My body was compared to a friend of ours. She had a 6 pack and I didn’t. That was the first time ever in my life that body image became an issue for me. I became self-conscious of my appearance, even though, I had absolutely no reason to be. Step #1: Find your true “why.” Your “why” is the reason behind the reason… behind the reason… behind the surface reason you want to make a change in your life. Finding your “why” is a shortcut to finding your pain. Because often, your deepest reason for wanting to change your body or habits dredges up yucky stuff. For example, the shame of having gained 30 pounds after having kids. (‘Why does every other mom seem to have it all together?) Or the helplessness of realizing you can’t even bend down to pick up a pencil off the floor. Or the regret that comes with admitting you’re not the kind of active, inspiring parent you want to be. These are the “whys” that drive change. Don’t settle for the easy answer. Getting to your “deepest reason” requires some introspection. An exercise called the “5 Whys” can help kickstart the process. Here’s how it works: Take your initial reason for wanting to make changes to your nutrition, workout routine, or lifestyle, and use that as a starting point. Maybe you want to get fit. Ask yourself why do I want to accomplish this? Then, with whatever answer you come up with, ask why again and again I’m reminded of my toddler asking “why” with every answer I give her, BUT there is something to that method. For instance, for me currently: "I want to be healthy."
Wow. That’s a lot of insight for a few little questions. For me, being healthy really means being in charge of my life to prevent outcomes like my mom. That’s a crucial insight. I’m not just looking to be as strong as I was. I also want to feel a certain way at the end of the process. Strong. More energetic. More in control of the outcome (even though we have no way of knowing what will actually happen, at least I can say I did everything I could). And that's what's really important to me. Being strong is just a way to get there. Put in the work. Some people can define—and confront—their “why” quickly. For others, it requires a little more time and effort. Practicing meditation and/or mindfulness can help you access uncomfortable thoughts you’ve been avoiding or pushing away. To get started, try this simple mind-body scan. Find a quiet place. Take 5 minutes and find somewhere you can be without interruptions. This could be just before bed or just after waking. Or in your office, resting on a park bench, or sitting in your parked car. Notice physical sensations. Scan your body from the top of your head down to your toes, part by part. Note how you feel along the way. Don’t judge or rush to change anything. Notice emotions and thoughts. Once you’ve done your “body scan,” do the same exercise for your emotions and thoughts. Again, don’t judge or try to make sense of it. Just observe. Ask yourself 3 questions. Right now…
You may find it helpful to jot down a few notes after each session. (It’s okay if you can’t find the perfect words.) Over time, you’ll notice feelings, thoughts, and ideas that crop up consistently. These can be important clues to revealing your “why”… and your pain. Ok, now it’s your turn to play. Write down your 5 Whys. Really. Give it some thought. Be honest. If you’d care to share send me a DM, I’d love to hear from you! Nourish your purpose now, Rebecca To achieve real, lasting change, many people have to confront the emotional pain or discomfort that’s making them want that change.
Once they do, their true motivation is crystalized. And that’s often far more powerful than any single exercise plan or diet approach. The challenge is uncovering it. When it comes to goals, people usually talk about losing fat or moving better or getting healthy. All fine aspirations, indeed. But for many of us, these goals aren’t very meaningful in the context of our everyday lives. They’re more like health and fitness clichés. Our true motivations run much deeper than having a “bikini body” or “sleeve-busting arms” (as the ads and coverlines promise). That’s the surface level stuff we think we want. Sure, these types of goals might inspire you to show up for six weeks of training and cut back on alcohol for a while. But for most people, how much do they really matter? How easy are they to give up on? On the other hand… you know what’s way more motivating? Wanting to be able to take care of your child or grandchild so badly that months of new habits, tiring workouts, and saying no to cupcakes in the break room seemed like the only choice. It wasn’t just a “look better” fitness goal—it’s a burning passion. For me, it's to live. To fully live. Not just go through the motions of life. To soak in every moment with my kiddos. To play when they want to play. To be active and keep up with them. To go on adventures and not worry about if I'm healthy enough. Discovering why you really want to change gives you resolve. A wise person (okay, it was Tony Robbins) once said: “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” There’s just one problem: A lot of us never actually get to the root of what’s bothering us. We don’t face our pain or discomfort because it’s uncomfortable. As a result, we’re much more likely to stay the same. Find your pain… to stoke your passion. Sometimes, pain will be obvious: divorce, a scary diagnosis, the loss of a loved one. This kind of pain is easy to identify. It’s right there in front of you, flagging you down. Other times, pain can be more subtle: It’s hiding in a dark corner of the basement—always there, even if you aren’t constantly aware of it. Maybe it stems from all those times you were picked last as a kid. Or from that “harmless” comment a loved one made about your body… or about someone else’s body (who looks like you). These hits of pain may not feel that impactful in the moment, but over time, they accrue power and influence over your actions and self-worth. The result? Pain that’s hidden can crop up as:
These examples all suggest there’s trouble below the surface. Pain is discouraging you and holding you back. If you can access the source of this emotional discomfort, you can use it to achieve serious change. Next week I’ll share three steps on how to do just that. Nourish your purpose now, Rebecca January was Thyroid Awareness month.
February is Heart Health month. March is Nutrition Awareness month. …all three playing a significant role in my life... My mom had thyroid issues for well over 50 years. She didn’t talk much about it until I was diagnosed Hashimoto’s over 12 years ago. Everything she had been feeling in her body made sense to me now.
Overtime, she developed type 2 diabetes. Many things could have contributed such as a crappy food choices, emotional eating and minimal exercise. She did her normal activities of daily living…yard work, cleaned house, walked from time to time and of course she got a lot of walking from going to yard sales every weekend! …But studies have found that diabetes and thyroid disorders tend to coexist in patients. Both conditions involve a dysfunction of the endocrine system. Thyroid disorders can have a major impact on glucose control, and untreated thyroid disorders affect the management of diabetes in patients. Both diabetes and thyroid disorder can increase the risk of heart disease, heart attack, clogged blood vessels (atherosclerosis), and high blood pressure. Something that mom would soon find to be true. …December 29, 2006 she had a heart attack. Days before, she looked tired and worn out but we all assumed she was working too much…because she was. She was up in the middle of the night throwing up but went back to bed not understanding why…maybe something she ate. When she got up to shower that morning, she experienced the classic symptoms of a heart attack and was able to call and get help. She was lucky. She had over 90% blockage that was treated with a couple of stents. That was a wake-up call for her. For all of us. She was committed to make her health a priority. She was ready to do to what it takes. I worked with her for 6 months walking daily, adjusting her meal plan and watching her commit to never feeling that pain ever again. She lost 30 pounds during that time and her cardiologist said she was one of his star pupils. She was full of energy. She felt amazing and like her “old self” again… But sometime shortly after that, her primary care doctor adjusted her thyroid medication. Her energy decreased Her brain fog started to come back She was tired and focused what energy she did have on her work. Her weight started to come back …and then was back to old habits. The stressors of life continued to weigh on her also. She continued to try. I tried. It was beyond frustrating. There was so much that we still didn’t know. We were able to spend just over 7 more years with her before she passed away of a stroke. As I take a bird eye view from those years, I can see what pieces of the complex puzzle needed to be put where. And perhaps that’s even more frustrating. But I channel that into uncovering the layers and helping others… What do we need to uncover so that we can start building a new foundation?
Love your heart. Love the women in your life. Get informed. Do not think it could not possibly be you… The truth is heart disease impacts ONE IN THREE WOMEN… So if it isn’t you, look to your left then look to your right- And start talking about it Because it’s largely PREVENTABLE Nourish your purpose now, Rebecca Answer: Yes. Maybe. Not always, for everyone.
In a study at Penn State University, researchers asked 186 women who they classified as “overweight” or “obese” to rank the “foods you can’t resist and find hard to stop eating.” The foods that most frequently topped the participants’ lists:
Most people know their problem foods. Mine is chips. But asking you to officially identify them can help improve awareness and reveal patterns. And that can lead to more effective strategies for managing your intake. To start, make a list. But for deeper insights, fill out the Yale Food Addiction Scale Worksheet. It’ll not only help you better understand challenges, it can be enlightening, too. Tasty foods are likely to be eaten. No matter how much willpower you have, it’s natural to grab the easiest and most tempting food options, especially when you’re tired, stressed, or ravenous. So it’s helpful to remember if a food is in your house or possession, either you, someone you love, or someone you marginally tolerate will eventually eat it. This doesn’t just pertain to problem foods; it also applies to the foods we should eat frequently. Get those foods prepped and ready-to-eat—so they’re as convenient as packaged snacks. Or put another way:
There are no “bad” foods. I’d rather not categorize foods as “good” or “bad.” That can teach people to moralize food choices, causing them to literally feel like a bad person for eating the “wrong” foods. Who needs more guilt and shame in life? There’s a subtle difference between demonizing a food and merely abstaining from it because you know you tend to overeat it. I challenge you to think differently. Instead of universal “good” and “bad” foods, build a personalized list of their red, yellow, and green light foods. Red light foods These are foods that present such a difficult challenge for you that they just aren’t worth the struggle. Red light foods may not work for you because:
Yellow light foods Maybe you can eat a little bit of these and stop, or you can eat them under control at a restaurant with others but not at home alone. Green light foods These are nutritious and make your body and mind feel good. You can eat them normally, slowly, and in reasonable amounts. Whole foods usually make up most of this list. This helps with being able to eat things in moderation and more importantly, not feel guilty. I hope this is helpful for you as your continue your journey towards health and wellness. Enrollment is still open for our next group of Recommit to YOU in 42 that begins on February 1st! If you have been wanting to recommit to yourself and want to know more of what that looks like, message me, I’d be happy jump on a discovery call with you to see if you are a good fit for this program. Nourish your purpose now, Rebecca The world is pretty uncontrollable. We are all very well aware of that by now!
We can’t control the outcome. But we can control the behaviors that lead to the outcome we want. Outcomes are WHAT you want. But outcomes don't tell you what to do. Behaviors are HOW you'll get there. Behavior goals give you an action plan. If you want to make big changes, you have to take small, consistent daily actions. If we’re talking about a health based goal, say fitness or weight loss, we usually have those outcome goals already brewing in our minds. …and more often than not, that’s where they stay. We often think we’ll have to completely overhaul our lives to reach those outcome goals, so what usually happens? We get stuck Overwhelmed Frustrated Give up So instead of setting “outcome goals”, set “behavior goals”. I’ve called behavior goals my 5 to Thrive or High Yielding Tasks but essentially all of the behavior goals are a commitment to do a specific set of actions or tasks that lead to the outcome you want. They are:
Again: You can’t control the outcome. But you can control the behaviors that, when done consistently, will move you in the right direction. Focus on the process, not the outcome. If you’d like to work on your 5 to Thrive so that you can recommit to yourself fully, send me a message, I’d love to help! Nourish your purpose now, Rebecca |
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